Living Unapologetically: Techniques for Letting Go of Approval Seeking

Living Unapologetically: Techniques for Letting Go of Approval Seeking

In a world where social media reigns supreme and the opinions of others are just a comment away, it’s become increasingly difficult to live authentically without seeking the approval of others. The constant pressure to conform to societal expectations or to fit into a certain mould can be stifling, leading many to live a life that’s far removed from their true selves. However, living unapologetically and letting go of the need for approval is not only liberating but essential for personal growth and happiness. Here are several techniques to help you embark on this journey of self-discovery and freedom.

Embrace Your Individuality

Embracing your individuality is not just about accepting who you are; it’s about celebrating the unique blend of qualities that sets you apart from everyone else. Your individuality encompasses your passions, your perspectives, your style, and even the way you laugh. It’s these characteristics that contribute to your unique footprint in the world. In a society that often prizes conformity, standing firm in your identity can be an act of rebellion. It requires courage to live authentically when faced with the pressure to fit into predefined moulds.

Embracing your individuality means giving yourself permission to explore and express your true self without fear of criticism or rejection. It’s about making choices that align with your personal values and interests, rather than those dictated by societal expectations or trends. Remember, the richness of your personality adds colour to the tapestry of human experience. By owning your individuality, you inspire others to do the same, creating a more diverse and accepting world.

Set Boundaries

Boundaries are essential for maintaining a sense of self in a world that constantly demands our time, energy, and attention. They act as safeguards that protect our mental and emotional well-being, allowing us to distinguish where we end and others begin. Setting healthy boundaries involves recognizing your limits and communicating them clearly to others. This might mean declining invitations that don’t align with your priorities, asking for space when needed, or refusing to tolerate disrespect.

It’s important to remember that setting boundaries is not an act of selfishness but an act of self-respect. It signals to others how you expect to be treated and helps prevent resentment and burnout. By prioritising your needs through boundary-setting, you create the space necessary to focus on personal growth and pursue what truly matters to you. As you practise setting and enforcing boundaries, you’ll find that it not only improves your relationships but also enhances your overall quality of life.

Practice Self-Compassion

The journey toward living unapologetically is fraught with challenges and moments of self-doubt. During these times, practising self-compassion becomes a vital tool for resilience. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness, understanding, and patience you would offer a good friend facing similar struggles. It means acknowledging your humanity and accepting that imperfection is part of the human experience.

When you’re hard on yourself for mistakes or perceived shortcomings, remind yourself that no one is immune to flaws or failures. Instead of engaging in harsh self-criticism, adopt a more compassionate inner dialogue. Ask yourself what you need in moments of distress and allow yourself the space to heal and learn. Cultivating self-compassion not only softens the impact of negative experiences but also fosters a supportive internal environment that encourages growth and self-discovery.

Cultivate Self-Awareness

Cultivating self-awareness is akin to embarking on an exploratory journey within yourself. It involves delving into the depths of your psyche to unearth your core values, passions, and aspirations. This introspective process is crucial for understanding the motivations behind your behaviours, particularly those that seek external approval. By becoming more self-aware, you gradually learn to recognize patterns in your thoughts and actions that may not align with your true self.

Engaging in practices such as journaling, meditation, and mindfulness can facilitate this discovery by providing you with the tools to observe your internal landscape without judgement. As you become more acquainted with your inner world, you’ll find it easier to make decisions that resonate with your authentic self, leading to a more fulfilled and purpose-driven life.

Living Unapologetically: Techniques for Letting Go of Approval Seeking

Seek Internal Validation

The quest for external validation is a common human experience, but it can often leave you feeling empty and unfulfilled. Seeking internal validation, on the other hand, is a powerful strategy for building self-esteem and confidence. Start by acknowledging your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem.

Celebrate your progress in personal projects, the effort you put into your relationships, or any steps you take towards personal growth. Learning to appreciate your worth independently of others’ opinions helps to cultivate a strong sense of self. This internal validation acts as a solid foundation for your self-esteem, enabling you to pursue your goals with conviction and resilience. Remember, your value does not diminish based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

Surround Yourself with Support

The people you choose to surround yourself with can have a profound impact on your personal development and self-awareness journey. A supportive community acts as a mirror reflecting your true self back to you, affirming your value and encouraging your authenticity. Seek out relationships with individuals who appreciate your uniqueness and encourage you to express yourself fully. These connections provide a safe space for you to explore different facets of your identity without fear of judgement.

Moreover, a supportive network offers diverse perspectives that can help you gain insights into yourself and the world around you. Embracing these relationships fosters an environment where growth, learning, and self-expression can flourish, making it easier for you to live authentically and unapologetically.

Reflect and Reassess Regularly

In the journey of personal development, the practice of regular reflection stands as a cornerstone. It’s a deliberate pause in the hustle of daily life to introspect and evaluate the alignment of your actions with your core values and intentions. This process of reflection and reassessment is not merely about celebrating successes but, more importantly, scrutinising the paths that lead to less favourable outcomes. By asking yourself whether your goals, relationships, and behaviours truly resonate with who you are—or if they are merely a reflection of societal expectations or a quest for external validation—you empower yourself to live more authentically.

Reflection can take many forms, from journaling to meditation, and it doesn’t require elaborate setups or excessive time. Even a few minutes of focused thought can yield profound insights. The key is consistency and honesty in your self-appraisal. As you reflect, consider the aspects of your life that bring you joy and fulfilment versus those that cause stress or dissatisfaction. Are your daily activities moving you closer to your personal goals, or are they detours on your journey? This ongoing process of reassessment enables you to make course corrections, ensuring that your life trajectory remains aligned with your true self.

Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity

The fear of failure is a formidable barrier to living unapologetically. It can tether you to the safe harbour of approval-seeking behaviours, preventing you from venturing into the uncharted waters where true growth occurs. However, reimagining failure as an integral part of the learning process can transform it from a source of dread to a catalyst for development.

Embracing failure involves shifting your perspective to see setbacks not as final destinations but as stepping stones on your path to success. Each misstep offers invaluable lessons that contribute to your growth and resilience. Rather than a sign of weakness, failure signifies the courage to try, to push beyond your comfort zones, and to invest in your dreams. This mindset encourages experimentation and innovation, freeing you from the paralysing fear of making mistakes.

Moreover, by acknowledging and sharing your failures, you contribute to a culture of learning and openness. It fosters an environment where others feel safe to take risks and share their experiences, creating a supportive community that values growth over perfection. In embracing failure as a learning opportunity, you discover the strength within your vulnerabilities and the wisdom born from adversity.


Living unapologetically is a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and liberation. By letting go of the need for approval, you open yourself up to a world of possibilities where you can truly live your best life. It’s a challenging journey, but one that’s incredibly rewarding. Start today, and step into a life where you are free to be your authentic self, without apologies.


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